Featuring the Sheila about Town! <p><a href=”https://vimeo.com/154631445″>StyleTV | Chelsea Daniels | 08/02/16</a> from <a href=”https://vimeo.com/user44377158″>Star Media</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a>.</p>
The musings of a 20 (something) Aussie girl living in Christchurch, New Zealand… Firstly, moving to New Zealand in winter was a huge mistake. (Note to self: when making life altering decisions, make sure to do some research.) Coming from Australia anything below 18 degrees is a bit chilly on the nips. How about minus 10 for your liking? I actually could see my breath in the air INSIDE my room. That’s not okay. They actually talk about the wind like it’s the only thing everyone has in common. It’s not the old ‘the weather is nice today’ icebreaker, it gets really specific here. ‘Oh them southerly’s look like they’re on the way’ is an actual phrase here. Say that to any South Islander and you’ve made a new best friend. Defrosting – something I associate with my chicken I take out in the morning for my dinner. Why do they call it that, defrosting? Because it’s come out of the freezer, where it’s super cold – like Antarctica cold. Here in New Zealand’s deep …
If I was to give anyone advice about travelling it would be that you have to be prepared for anything. The most random situation is going to happen to you when you least expect it, and trust me it’ll be a whole lot easier if you have everything you need when you’re trying to get the Irish border security to believe that you’re not seeking asylum in their country… So after a hard (and I mean HARD) 5 days of partying in Ibiza I was looking forward to seeing my family in England and getting some well-deserved rest. My friend and I decided to part ways for a mere three days and that’s where alarm bells should’ve started ringing. When you’re as disorganised as me and rely on your more organised, mature friend to carry all kinds of important documents, you should never, and I repeat NEVER leave them. So off I go on my flight to Manchester via Belfast. Admittedly I wasn’t even sure where Belfast was but was happy I got to add …
1. You start talking about marriage and children There is no need to discuss any kind of future any longer than next Tuesday. 2. They mention their ex, more that once This only means one thing, they’re definitely not over their ex. We’ve all had them, and consequently we’ve all wished someone dead, and that’s totally natural. If they’re still reminiscing on the good things about their ex, then they wish that she was sitting across from the table from them, not you. 3. They tell you how much they earn I get it, they’re trying to impress you. But what kind of girl do they think you are if they think you’re going to be impressed by that? The only other word that springs to mind when someone says the term “gold digger” is “whore”. 4. They ask you what your parents do for a living This is category one ‘wankjob’ territory. Not only are they delving into your financial status, but when they start to talk about what your family does …
1. No, I do not ride kangaroos everywhere or have them as pets Look, as much as I’d love to nod and say yes, I do have a pet joey named Skippy who use to hop me to school and play with me in my back yard, I can’t I’m sorry. As a result of pesky foreign advertisers, the people of the world think that Australia is a vast red country where we are surrounded by bush land and live near a billabong with our tucker bags. They find it hard to grasp the idea that we like in cities, with buildings, and automobiles. 2. Yes, I speak English, not Australian You laugh but this is a very common question, maybe even the most common. 3. They’re called prawns, not shrimps If you are Australian and you have travelled overseas you would have definitely heard the ol line “throw another shrimp on the barbie” and wanted to throttle Paul Hogan and the whole 1984 tourism Australia advertising team. Not only will you hear it, you …
Currently holding the Guinness World Record for having the longest TV career, Betty White has developed a reputation for being everyone’s favourite on screen gran. From beginning with her infamous role on the Golden Girls to singing Lil John’s classic “Get Low” in The Proposal, Betty has won over the hearts of the world over. One thing that doesn’t cross our minds though is how old she really is. Born January 17, 1922 Betty White is surprisingly older than a lot of everyday items… 1. Penicillin 1928 2. Photocopiers 1937 3. Ballpoint pens 1938 4. Sunglasses 1929 5. Television 1925 6. Bubble gum 1928 7. PEZ candy 1927 8. Cheeseburger 1924 9. LSD 1938 10. Monopoly 1933
1. Gym If you’re thinking about putting my number down because you need 10 numbers to win a free drink bottle, let me know first because I’ll buy you two drink bottles just to keep Goodlife off of my ass. These guys obviously work off of commission with a shit base rate because they DO NOT let up. You have to convince them that you’re moving overseas in the hope that the made up country you mention doesn’t have a Goodlife branch there. 2. Bank Has recent activity put your credit card over its limit? Please check via internet banking or call your local branch if this is a mistake… Nope, no mistake, I was well aware that buying a can of tuna and crackers from Coles for dinner would bring me over my limit. You’re gonna have to wait until pay for your $4.38. 3. Phone companies Never have I ever receieved a phone call from a telco that I wanted. Whether it’s that you haven’t paid your bill on time, or they’re calling you to …
Now, Nazis and Satanists aside, this list compiles those retched people you and I may bump in to on a daily basis. Those small, but oh so significant, encounters with this elite class of human being will be enough to ruin anyone’s day… 1.Drivers that don’t say thank you This one is a no brainer. Humankind doesn’t delve often in random acts of kindness, so when they do they deserve a slight wave of the hand. When we let you in, we’re not asking for you to jot down our number plate, follow us to work, and drop off a bouquet of beautifully arranged flowers. We’re asking for a half a second of your time to appreciate the 10 seconds we’ve just saved you sitting in traffic. 2. People who don’t leave doors open for you Didn’t take a second to hold the door open for the next person walking through? Congratulations! Someone you have never met, who knows nothing about your life, who hasn’t seen what a decent human being you may well be, …
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